发布时间:2020-07-29 17:00:49
翻译赏析 | 匆 匆(下)
匆匆(下)朱自清
Transient Days --Zhu ziqing
我觉察他去的匆匆了,伸出手遮挽时,他又从遮挽着的手边过去,天黑时,我躺在床上,他便伶伶俐俐在从我身上跨过,从我脚边飞去了。
Aware of its fleeting presence, I reach out for it only to find it brushing past my outstretched hands. In the evening, when I lie on my bed, it nimbly strides over my body and flits past my feet.
Q:这一个句子里面同时出现主语“他”和“时间”,且各有大量动词,怎么处理?
首先可以考虑是不是可以把其中一个主语分到从句,用复合句的方式来翻译。对于动词的处理,是不是可以考虑把动词转换成各类分词或者名词的形式,而不是只考虑以谓语的形式出现。比如句中,aware of sth.在句子中充当状语,也表伴随,主语是“我”,后面only to find it doing表示结果状语。In the evening,when I lie on the bed都是时间状语,后面的主语又换成了“时间”。
这里表示动作的词语在译文中均挑选恰当的英语短语动词表达,效果较好。如:“伸出手遮挽……”译为to reach out for…;“从……(手边)过去”译为to brush past…;“从……(身上)跨过”译为to stride over…;“从……(脚边)飞去了”译为to flit past…。
等我睁开眼和太阳再见,这算又溜走了一日。我掩着面叹息。但是新来的日子的影儿又开始在叹息里闪过了。
By the time when I open my eyes to meet the sun again, another day is already gone. I heave a sigh, my head buried in my hands. But, in the midst of my sighs, a new day is flashing past.
Q: “我掩着面叹息。”这句话的翻译没有语法错误吗?
I heave a sigh, my head buried in my hands. 按照现在的语法来看,确实不符合语法规范。但是可以理解为后半句是一种“我在叹息”时的伴随状态,相当于with my head buried in my hands.
在逃去如飞的日子里,在千门万户的世界里的我能做些什么呢?只有徘徊罢了,只有匆匆罢了;在八千多日的匆匆里,除徘徊外,又剩些什么呢?
Living in this world with its fleeting days and teeming millions, what can I do but waver and wander and live a transient life? What have I been doing during the 8000 fleeting days except wavering and wandering?
Living和主语“我”是主动关系,这里分词理解成伴随状语,表示“我正住在这个世界”。“逃去如飞的日子”和“千门万户”都处理了adj.+n.的结构,比较整齐划一。“只有徘徊罢了,只有匆匆罢了”这两句是散句,也较短,译者就与前面的句子进行了合并。
过去的日子如轻烟,被微风吹散了,如薄雾,被初阳蒸融了;我留着些什么痕迹呢?我何曾留着像游丝样的痕迹呢?
The bygone days, like wisps of smoke, have been dispersed by gentle winds, and, like thin mists, have been evaporated by the rising sun. What traces have I left behind? No, nothing, not even gossamer-like traces.
这句的翻译基本属于直译。但同时需要注意的是“形似”。比如“过去的日子如轻烟,被微风吹散了,如薄雾,被初阳蒸融了”,这句句式应该是相同的,那么译文中也要考虑相同的问题。同时虽然我们提倡被动转主动,但是这是分情况的。这里表达的明显是一种“无奈”,所以保留被动态也没什么问题。
我赤裸裸来到这世界,转眼间也将赤裸裸的回去罢?但不能平的,为什么偏要白白走这一遭啊?
I have come to this world stark naked, and in the twinkling of an eye, I am to go back as stark naked as ever. However, I am taking it very much to heart: why should I be made to pass through this world for nothing at all?
Q:“但不能平的”怎么翻译?
凡是这些不能直接直译到英文的,我们都要先想清楚这个句子到底表达的是什么意思,在进行“解释”,这样的译文才能被人读懂。“但不能平的”,意思就是“不能平的”意即“为之耿耿于怀”或“为之想不开”,现译为I am taking it very much to heart,其中to take…to heart是英语成语,作“为……烦恼”或“为……想不开”解。
你聪明的,告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢?
Or you the wise, would you tell me please: why should our days go by never to return?
这句的翻译基本就是直译,没有过多的语法点和特殊的表达。注意书面语和口头语的转换,就可以。
必背词汇
nimble adj.灵活的;敏捷的
英义
able to move quickly and easily
例句
She was extremely nimble on her feet.
她的双脚特别灵活。
扩充
Nimble trappers 灵巧设陷者
nimble detective 头脑敏捷的侦探
teeming adj.大量的;充满(移动着的人、动物等)的;拥挤的
英义
present in large numbers; full of people, animals, etc. that are moving around
例句
His mind is teeming with ideas.
他的脑子里充满了各种想法。
扩充
teeming insects 成群结队的昆虫
the teeming streets of the city 熙熙攘攘的城市街道
disperse v.(使)分散,散开;疏散;驱散
英义
to move apart and go away in different directions; to make sb / sth do this
例句
The crowd dispersed quickly.
人群很快便散开了。
gossamer n.蛛丝
英义
the very fine thread made by spiders
例句
Dragonflies have very gossamer wings.
蜻蜓有非常丝薄的翅膀
stark adj.严酷的;赤裸裸的;真实而无法回避的
英义
unpleasant; real, and impossible to avoid
例句
The author paints a stark picture of life in a prison camp. 作者描绘出一幅冷酷而真实的战俘营生活画面。
扩充
A stark choice残酷的选择
Stark reality残酷的现实
Stark difference鲜明的区别
重点表达
reach out for sth. 伸手拿某物
stride over 跨过/大跨步
heave a sigh 发出叹息/留下一声叹息
take sth. to heart 为...烦恼/想不开
复盘要点
1、跨过
2、伸出手遮挽
3、掩面叹息
4、逃去如飞的日子
5、徘徊
6、游丝样的痕迹
7、赤裸裸
8、一去不复返
句子回译
1、我觉察他去的匆匆了,伸出手遮挽时,他又从遮挽着的手边过去,天黑时,我躺在床上,他便伶伶俐俐在从我身上跨过,从我脚边飞去了。
2、在逃去如飞的日子里,在千门万户的世界里的我能做些什么呢?只有徘徊罢了,只有匆匆罢了。
3、过去的日子如轻烟,被微风吹散了,如薄雾,被初阳蒸融了
表达对比
看看不同语境下「痕迹」有哪些表达?
上周,女孩的姐姐注意到她身上的「痕迹」。
Last week, after the girl’s sister noticed marks on her body.
塔利班武装力量则加紧活动,以便迫使批评人士缄口,同时驱除政府影响的任何「痕迹」。
The Taliban’s militants have intensified their campaign to silence critics and drive out signs of government influence.
其间耳闻目睹的所谓国家大事,算起来也很不少;但在我心里,都不留什么「痕迹」。
I have witnessed and heard about quite a number of big events known as “affairs of state”None of them, however, has had any impact on my heart.